A Tale from the Infiniwastes (freeform faction game)

These were the rules: 

• It's infinigrad, but a wasteland/wilds.
• Players control a band of sentients within said Infiniwastes.
• I resolve orders in the order in which I receive them. Players can only submit one set of orders at a time (can resubmit once their orders are resolved).
• If you don't have any orders submitted you can directly respond to the last even that happened BEFORE the next event is resolved (These are also resolved in order of submission).
• I run it for a week only! (ed: It went a bit over) 
• Time/distance is corrupted due to the post reality nature of infinix.

Message me your band and your first order if you want to play! 

These were the bands I received: 

The Lost. 

(The Infamous Red Aeon) 

6 x Machine men from the past. 

(Crashed chronoship wreck, Chronorifles [forward/back time pellets], scanners, wide array of machine and biological bits)

The Family. 

(The Family.) 

Parasite infected Snail Leviathan 

Father / Mother (1 x huge flesh beast) 

Siblings (4 x medium flesh beast) 

Cousins (100 x tiny flesh beasts) 

(Bioinfusement, Fleshcloning/manipulation, teeth, claw, muscle, Emotive resonator glands)

The Doctors.

(Drs Howard, Fine , Howard) 

3 x Workers of scientific miracles.

(Knowledge and tools relating to necromancy, robotics/machinemen and entropic energies, a walking tower/laboratory/giant metal man)

The Banished. 

(Hanks and Co., Camel Riders. ) 

20 x ghost men riding ghost great humped beasts. 

(ectoplasmic, swift, long rifles [ectoplasmic])

The Masked. 

(Sassy Cyborg Lucha Possums [SCLP]) 

8 x Beastman martial artists. 

(Acrobatic, irrepressible, shock and awe causing unarmed combat maneuvers, array of beast parts and cybernetic augmentations).

The Awashed. (ed: I also seemed to call these guys "the undrowned" a bit)

(Oof Oof Grr Grr or Mud Hut Armbreakers.)

50 x Undrownable curse freed men. 

(Aversion to technology, magic, speech and similar complicated arts that betray instinct. Without guilt. Skilled in mud, huts and breaking arms)

The Areas/Map: 

• Wet plain: An expanse of knee deep water studded with buttes. The water is infested with gilled maggotmen and the buttes with ruins. A central butte holds the ruin of the Summoner’s well. 
• Ruo forest: A dark swamp ingesting an endless tangle of ancient towers and bridges. Dim, under a dome of ferns. Villages of mossy weaklings hide poorly in shadows. 
• Mud shore: A green sea meets a shore of rich mud. Festooned with the wrecks of chain draped hulks. Patrolled by bands of strangling sea vines. 
• Salt wastes: Wastes of salt. 

The Tale: 

The infinite serenity of the wastes was shattered by the intrusion of a triangular craft infected with linearity. Above the wet plain it ripped the sky and then it screamed into a tower of rock and caused the world to shudder for the first time. The craft died on impact - being as it were a boat of time and now being as it were dashed upon the shore of no time. A puddle of most infectious and black sun searching linear time splashed out into the wastes, giving us our brief window into that place. HOW LONG SHALL IT LAST AND WHAT SHALL TRANSPIRE?! 

The Lost, from the ancient past, were the pilots of the chronocraft, searching the ends of it for treasure and came instead to beyond it, and as they accepted the death of their craft with its final breaths of life routed all mana to its scanner, thusly the scanner remained operative though all other organs of the craft died. And thus the lost men scanned and discovered that a central butte across the watery wastes housed something that provided a most strange and delicious beacon. The Lost men left their dead boat and crossed the wet wastes, finding the waters shallow and the towers steep, and they came then to the Summoner’s well, a device of a great gone magus and her with desire and ritual Unthings could be dredged forth. A distance behind the Lost writhed following a host of white fleshed worms, corpulent and armed. 

The canopy of the Ruo forest shook as slid across its ruined heaped floor did a great levianthanic gastropod. Its flesh was animated by the flitting of parasites whom had seized its navigational systems and thusly claimed the god snail as their squattery. The parasites disembarked and stormed a village of some 50 mossy weaklings, taking them as hostage and living supply of food and genetic codery. The wails of the weaklings as they were et or nerve flailed were soft pitiful and father and his family felt contentment a moment at the influx of unrot flesh. 

Appeared from the flat empty Plains did a giant of metal and dwelled in its bowels did a trio of doctors, as they called themselves, and the belly of the giant was their laboratory and the giant arrived in the forest of Ruo and caused there disturbance as did the god snail! It plucked from the villages high and low many number of innocent weaklings whom were crushed and killed then placed in the gullet of the giant where the doctors worked with the remains and made for themselves a retinue of 25 composite men who were near mindless in their servitude to the doctors three. The villages of the forest were thusly heightened in alert at the coming of two great and terrible abominations and they thought then more carefully of hiding themselves and of defending themselves. 

Ghostly riders silent thundered over the surface of the water of wet plain and then over the empty air as the charged towards and circled the summoners well. The Lost, men of glinting metal and old flesh, watched them warily from a ruin look out. The riders trotted slow and patient around the well, sensing they could, with ritual and desire, dredge forth Unthings. 

Masked heroes, hearing the lamentation and disquiet in Ruo forest went to the wrecks of mud shore and harvested there many cylinders of nutrient and though the patrolling sea vine sallied forth towards them, the marsupialian warriors gestured and posed most fearsomely at them and thus they writhed away leaving them unaccosted. The band of warriors then came to some of the seemingly empty villages of the weaklings and left for them many cylinders of nutrients and shouted encouraging phrases such that weaklings eventually crept out and thanked the heroes and gave them blessing and their thanks and their promise to be braver if they could and help the marsurriors if perhaps a moment came when they could. 

And with the passing of the Masked heroes from the shore, did appear fifty undrowned bare men on the green lapped mud. From each a single grunt came, and then their labours did commence - heaping together the rich mud into the most rudimentary of fortresses ( circular wall, pit around wall, bridges of wreck wood, huts,). Taking and storing much nutrient infused cylinders from the wrecks brought the ire of the sea vines who surrounded the outer pit in great number. 

A hulking shadow and a cloud of dim spores pulled itself across the wet field and up onto the tower which held in its craggy broken hand the dead boat of the Lost men and thusly did it imbibe the dead ship before the ponderous shadow returned to the Ruo forest. Aboard the god snail the family saw in epiphany broadcast by the dead boat themselves as singular dimensional beings and they wished then to have more of the infectious puddle of time thus making them at least two glorious dimensions rather than a pitiful one. Linearity had succeeded in finding a host in the parasites. After the moment of revelation came but frustrated rage as father and mother discovered all was dead aboard the relical boat, save for the scanner which they hencely could now use in a linear fashion. 

Not yet willing to conduct a ritual using the well itself, the ghostly riders of the banished let out a wail of welcome, attempting to draw to them fellow polterpests. From the surrounding shallow waters of wet plain came the guttural reply of the maggotmen horde, who not ectoplasmic, assumed themselves living in some tortuous state of undeath due to the confining and painful reality of their sluggy forms. The maggotmen would allow the ghost riders to led them to true death. 

Appeared from the cover of the canopy of Ruo forest did a shadow and cloud of moss and the great sentry death gun of the doctors furrowed its brow at it and glared its lens at it, but felt that it was not a living thing and thus did not fire apon it. And the mass of spore and shadow went to the summoners well, and there ritually wished for beings whom could heal the time boat which was dead inside the cloud which was the god snail, and thus did appear from between the ruins a great glittering host of mechanical man, who drew a great cart of many parts and tools - glorious and wondrous and this host was promptly disintegrated into piles of dead ash by the doctors sentry gun of death. 

And in the muddy shore, behind the cover of wrecks huge, and mud wall high, the undrowned men dug a great pit and piled in it opened nutrient cylinders and sea vine ash and watched and waited for the luring of some great beast to fall into their simple trap, but though many megafaunic horrors trundled and trampled forth from the horizon, each was blasted by the death sentry gun of the doctors. 

Appeared too from the cover of the canopy of Ruo forest did the masked ones, heroes of the weaklings, perhaps to plunder again the wrecks of the mud shore and one of their number was promptly vapourised to ash by the death sentry gun of the doctor’s vile. So the masked ones, undaunted, retreated back to cover, knowing now that what they once did before was more difficult! 

The cloud of shadow and spore which was the parasite ridden god snail charged down the butte and across the wet plain furiously and the sentry gun of death did nothing on its approach and thus the god snail most sneakily (?) charged unto one of the support limbs of the great rifle and the whole huge structure toppled over into the mud and the wet and the ruins, the gun barrel buried beneath the earth under the weight of the fall! The grand lumberous shadow then hauled itself back into the shadows of the forest canopy! 

With their grand death rifle sunk sadly into the mud and no longer terrorizing the innocent crossers of areas without cover, the doctors three commanded their composite men to rearrange the slabs of metal that once were the giant man back unto the form of the metal man. And so they did, but they found an arms worth of metallic mass had been ruined in the fall and a new configuration thus was required and thereby they made what they called “The grabber” and this thing was like a man on two feet carrying a great belly and then a great long many fingered claw, huge and menacing, that erupted from that belly and could spin around and extend and thus grasp and restrain and recover objects of varying sizes small and big at great distance! As a reward for their labours one of their masters gifted the composite men with the starry curse of the beast, so that come the dark and the stars and the moon the composite men lost all reason and gained a horrible conglomeration of beast parts such as tooth, maw, claw, fur, and most terrible of all tail, but the composite men were unaware of this curse and were then freed from the service of the doctors three and they joyously under the light of the day went back to their frightened forest villages and were welcomed by their kin who had feared them dead (which they were in part, but in part not as they were made up of the parts of many weaklings so at less those who had lost a friend or relative might see a small part of them in the composite men, an arm, a toe, a smile, a nose, a laugh, so on and such forth) and there were celebrations that lasted into the coming of the stars and the dark. And so with the coming of the stars, so the coming of the curse, the composite men who had been welcomed back with open weakling arms then rend and bit and tore apart much of their village in a bloody howling frenzy and then with the return of the sun the composite men awoke and assumed that they had muchly imbibed too much of the fungal stew and of the fungal wine that brings joy and takes memory but then looked around and saw their friends and family all slaughtered around them in bloody dead parts half eaten by some horrid jungle beast that had since this time never been encountered by any of the tribes of the weaklings.

What was once wasn't dust then was dust was not dust yet again! As the mass of spore and shadow went again to the summoners well, and there ritually wished for beings whom could heal the time boat which was dead inside the cloud which was the god snail, and thus did appear again from between the ruins a great glittering host of mechanical man, who drew a great cart of many parts and tools - glorious and wondrous. This host arranged themselves neatly and stared mutely and without animation at the empty wastes and the not so empty cloud of spore and shadow that was around and before them.

The cloud of spore and shadow slow disappeared from the view of the summoned host of ship healers and they heard a strange wail of longing from the cloud and aboard the god snail the family felt command synapses long dormant roar into most truculent and mucusy animation and they could not wrest command of it as the long tortured and domineered God snail snorted out its last bouts of independent agency to cross the wet field and the mud shore to arrive at a the voluptuous long foot of a damp idol of a mother snail God whom had been shaped lovingly by the undrowned men. Her fecund and shapely form, her firm yet soft shell that quivered minutely in the ocean breeze, her eye stalks too long and slender and supporting oversized orbs that were beyond the proportions of any mortal snail, her undulating and beady flesh twinkling in the sun, had been far spotted by the other wise despondent God snail and a furnace long forgotten had been ignited with much flame and gusto and secretions and he had forced his mass against the wills of his controllers here to the base of the idol which was but a simulacrum of the she snail God and it was in the realising of this that the god snails mind broke forever more and he gave up all will and threw his bulk into the pit the undrowned prepared there for the capture of greats beasts with bulks such as its and thusly the snail God was stuck in a big pit. The undrowned men peered in and saw only a strange mass of shadow and moss and the strange moaning sobs of a once proud beasts whom had now lost its mind and had its heart riven in twain by their cany and cruel sculpturing. 

Hearing again forest ring with lamentation of the weaklings, and hearing too the falling of the rifle of death, the masked heroes resolved to steel vivify with much courage the weaklings! Hearing the snores of the doctors and seeing that the great metal beast known as the grabber thus slept, the heroes with both stealth and much aplomb penetrated the hull and the bowels of the doctors mobile liar and scooped up in great heaps what they carried in their furry arms infront of their person many metallic and robotic parts and these they took back to the the tribes of weaklings, away from the village whom had been devoured by the curse of the starry beast and was thusly still haunted by the confused composite men who endlessly wailed, and gilded a score of weaklings from villages spread out across the forest such that now each had a small host of protectors who had arms and legs of metal and were also taught some of the least esoteric and spiritual combat maneuvers of the masked heros - moves spiritual and arcane such as “rocket extender punch go!” and “Ocotostrangle yer lights out!” and “Wallop!” and also “Biff!” and not leastly “Whack!”.  

The metallic abomination known as the doctor's grabber loped forward over wet field, to the salt wastes beyond and heaped then into a protective circular mound much salt which the doctors could work in the middle of. Then, loped to the summoner's well did the abomination, bearing the doctors three, and there proceeded to, under the watch of the lost men, and not under the watch of the family who had summoned them, smash into their constituent parts the host of repair men brought forth from the ancient past, and the tower of rock holding the well shuddered and shoke with the smashing of the great metal hand but it withstood! But withstood not did the repairing host and their tools and pieces - standing there as they were awaiting command dumbly - and the doctors commanded the grabber hand to muchly grab their now spread about bits and pieces, which it did. With the destruction and raiding completed, again lopped did the grabber, off back to its protective circle of salt, and there constructed ten composite men of metal, slavish servants of the doctors, and with the remaining slabs and cuts of metal attached a great rotor to the top of the grabber such that it may hurl itself into the air, and with the completion of the task it did so with much whooping of air!

Finally without patience for the endless comings and goings of all and sundry from the summoner's well which they had rightly claimed in the parlance of the ancient past, the lost men detached from themselves their rifles, and their personal scanners (whom had less power and range than that which great scanner what did stow away apon the dead boat), and some of their least useful parts and crafted from these six gaurding turrets that scanned ever the perimeter around the summoner's well, threatening with metal scowls chronobullets at any who dared step foot or other ambulatory device unto there. 

The undrowned men, impressed in ways that cannot be expressed with mere words at the appearance of the great captured cloud of shadow and moss, threw down unto the pit of capture a great number of most nutrient dense and rich cylinders, and in there in that pit and in there in that cloud ate did the god snail, and the undrowned men offered it many rituals and commands but the despondent god snail gave no reply and would not ever follow the commands of any save those that had control of its internal synapses, such as the family did. 

And lo, the lost metal men finally conducted a ritual at the summoners well, and brought forth suits of armours for themselves, suits alive with mechanical writhings such that they may greatly amplify the strength of the man inside and also allow him to take flame infused jumps across great distances and too the suits could shoot chronopellets and summon bubbles of frozen time around them.

The flying grabber of the doctors three thrum flew across the canopy of the ruo forest, then hovered above the ferns, then penetrated said canopy with its titular grabber and thusly did scoop up the poor cursed composite men who had unknowingly eated their kin in the evenings and these beast cursed composite men were locked in holding cells in the belly laboratory of the doctors aboard the now flying grabber discussed in this here very long sentence. 

The muddy shore was blessed with another holy effigy, a great smiling penis gun that glinted in the light as it was covered in uncountable polished nutrient cylinders whom had been emptied of their contents and flattened out with rocks and wood. And next to this the undrowned men dug another pit and heaped into it mud and much hyper green sea weed and there they waited the coming of another God thing, but none came. Perhaps if they were to travel to the summoners well and conduct the ritual discussed previously in this tale this sun god of theirs would come to this land and be seduced thusly by the pit created for it. 

Then the undrowned men cowered as the blades of the flying grabber thrummed above them, and they hid as this metallic abomination sprinkled a mound of salt over the god snail which wallowed in their firstly constructed pit. 

And thus God snail screamed with pain as the salt induced agony in its flesh and in response the parasite family whom had commandeered the god snail for an unknowable length of time began in unison to consume it. And so they did eat a God and father did the most eating and he became even more huge and terrible, for what even could a parasite of this size seek as its next host save nearly a whole world and what next after that the whole universe itself?!?!? And father scooped up the dead chrono ship from the slime of the pit and surrounded by a miasma of spore and shadow he jumped up out the pit, his family in tow, and they marched across the wet field to the summoners well and when they arrived they were fired apon by the sentries the lost men had set and the chrono pellets flung them back in time with each shot such that the family kept wriggling forward then was sent back over and over again until some point in which they stopped approaching or the sentry rifles were done away with. 

And LO did the family cease their wrigglings ever forward unto the pellets of time and they shucked the great dead ship free of their mass onto the wet ground and hurled themselves out unto to border of the salt wastes, with one of their many compound eyes swirling around looking for large spheres of rock. And thusly they did arrive and did find many large boulders, and these they then hurled at the great whirling monstrosity of metal that was the grabber of the doctors and with a great crash a sphere of rock smashed into the belly of the grabber and it lost its precarious placement in the air and hurtled down to the earth and dug itself again into the mud. 

Away in the distance the lost men narrowed their metallic eyes dubiously at the receding fleshy mass that was the family as it left the range of their weapons before they could do’th anything. 

Aboard the fallen grabber, churning its ruined propellers madly in the mud, the doctors were filled with panic at the sight of the large fleshy mass that was the family that was hurling great spheres of stone at them, and a menacing idea came to them and they rigged unto the flesh of the recovered cursed composite men terrible weapons that hurled bolts of death powered by the living curse that dwelled in the body of its host. And in their panic the doctors let loose the composite men just as the sun set and bade them to blast everything with the foul weapons that had been installed into their flesh and so it was so with the coming of the beastly madness. From the inside out the great belly of the grabber was melted and torn asunder by horrible blasts and terrible claws as the cursed composite men unleashed justly deserved havoc. The doctors three were vaporized into unlife, and they watched with impotent ghostly rage as their lives collective work was destroyed by the beast fused composite men, letting loose much burning and slagging with unholy plasma shotfire. And the cursed men then appeared from the belly of the grabber and raged out unto the dark salty wastes, charging towards the great bulk thatwhom was father, head of the family.  

With blazing spears of death the cursed composite men charged at the behemoth parasite that was the father and his family and they ripped apart its unarmoured flesh with those shots, and then they fell apon the torn and rent flesh and began to tear and feast and rip apart the family who was unprepared for the beams of death and of the fury of the cursed beastial men and of their fangs and of their claws. But though much mass was rended and done away with in the onslaught, great hunks of slithering parasitic eel flesh still lived and wormed down into the belly of the beast cursed composite men. The family, though now much smaller in size and status - had found a new host! 

Finally coming to their senses, the lost men from the far past, used the well to summon forth equipment to repair their crashed chronoship. It was moments after this that lost men realised they had at some point lost their ship and could not repair it. Regardless, they summoned forth a new ship, and left this place, leaving only a small drying puddle of linear time for us to conclude our tale. 

At the glorious pits and effigies they had created, the undrowned men began a great hooting and hollering of ritual and dance, screaming and bellowing great single syllables of unknowable wisdom. As this loud celebration of primal instinct took place, some of their number crept across the wet plains, and watched as the lost men disappeared into a direction that the undrowned men could not point, and they watched as the great god  reconstituted snail, was destroyed most sacrilegiously by beasts laced with metals and mechanism! The mixture of the pure and goodly beastial with the profane and corrupt technological workings of science brought rage despair and sickness to the undrowned men. They continued their sneakings and arrived then at the tower of stone that held now, with the departing of the lost men, only the summoners well, and they crept past the great host of maggot men who swirled docile in the shallow water around the great ghostly hooves of their ghost rider lords who gave them now command and held them thusly enthralled, and they came to the well and they conducted a ritual of their own longings brought forth. And so it was in this way that a god of simple but profound things came forth, and it was like a great arm of man, but also like a slug, and it had many fingers and it looked as if it could break many things but perhaps also repair them and also could hold things and exist also in contentedness and calm. And the undrowned men at the well in unison got on the backside of that creature and rode it and asked it to go forth and help its kin, the god snail. And so it did, and then they knew sadness as they saw the cursed composite men feasting on the remains of the god snail (which had already been consumed by the parasitical family - but close enough) and the great god hand reared up and smashed and grabbed and squeezed the foul beastial men and though the god hand killed them, it was not without injury as they fought back causing punctures and wounds and grazes onto the great form of that god hand. It was in this way that the family, in tiny swirling form, crept into the flesh of the god hand from the smashed and ruined flesh of the beastial cursed men. 

The undrowned men took the injured god hand to their mud fortress home, and let it recuperate in a glorious pit of mud and slime and it healed over time, but never quite was the same as the family had taken residence within it, and now the family lived in the flesh of an actual god and too had the cohort of the undrowned men who worshiped them forever more in that holy receptacle. Whence the god hand had recovered, a strange puff of sporey shadow did emit from it, and it wafted over the tower of rock that held the summoners well, and it seemed searching for something that it did not find, and then it returned backly to the mud pit of the god. 

As eternity slowfast returned to the wastes a final event took place, the union of the weaklings! Under the dim fern canopy, and guided by the brave and most righteous masked heroes, the weaklings banded together to prevent further incursions by horrific abominations into their free and peaceful state of villages. And because eternity and the cessation of linear time occurred just with the formation of the collective social republic of the weakling villages of Ruo this political, social and military experiment, lead by the masked heroes, was an utter success for ever! All the weaklings existed in harmony, strengthened by powerful martial art moves and cybernetic modifications! Long live the SRWVR and its heroic vanguard the SCLP! 

The end!