Fantasypunk Augmentations, Part 3: Cosmetic and Major Malfunctions

(Get the automated version of this post here.) 

The installation of augmentations is not without risk. Repeated below is the rules for augmentations detailed in this post (along with the possible augmentations themselves): https://lizardmandiaries.blogspot.com/2018/10/fantasypunk-augmentations-part-1.html

Installing an augmentation:

Players roll a die determined by  the amount of gold they invested into the procedure. A larger die is more expensive and has a greater chance of success.

D4 = 500 GP

D6 = 1000 GP

D8 = 2000 GP

D10 = 4000 GP

D12 = 8000 GP (Roll with Advantage)

D20 = 16 000 GP (Roll with Advantage)

Augmentation procedure result:

1 = Installation failure and major malfunction

2 = Installation failure and cosmetic malfunction

3 - 4 = Installation success and major malfunction

5 - 6 = Installation success and cosmetic malfunction

7 - 20 = Installation success

A "Cosmetic malfunction" is when the augmentation still works perfectly fine, but unfortunately has warped your appearance beyond what would be considered or normal or acceptable level. A "Major malfunction" is when the augmentation still essentially works but its operation is somehow degraded or failing - not quite (or not at all) delivering the desired results. 

The results below often refer to "Part", this simply means the part of the body augmented as outlined in the table in the original post. 

Here are the tables for "Cosmetic malfunctions" and "Major malfunctions"": 

Cosmetic Malfunction: how the augmentation makes you look weird. 

1. Part affected regresses in age, taking on the appearance of a grotesque infant.
2. Holy or profane markings (most likely glowing).
3. Disgustingly highlights veins or other weak points.
4. Compartmentalisation of part, small and mechanical.   
5. Set aflame permanently.  
6. Part floats separate and ghostly from the body.
7. A fuming billow of gas, most likely stenchy.  
8. Part appears fake and uncanny, drawing illogical ire.
9. Part becomes waxy and melted, drooping and sad.
10. Cosmetic mutation is only in the mind of the beholder, often extreme.
11. Alarmingly clean or bare, scarily utilitarian.
12. Air filled and ballonish membrane growth.
13. Pickled, zombified flesh.
14. Feathers, beaks or talons.
15. Caustic fog and smog emanates from part.
16. Foul or alarming noises emit from part.
17. A growth of skin destroying crystal clusters, bloodily emerges.  
18. Part overgrows too quickly, either lumpish, hairy or naily.
19. Lightning like energy pulses erratically from part.
20. Part now connects, unsightly, to the nose, mouth or lungs.
21. Part affected becomes shrunken and withered.
22. Horrific tubes and pipes of flesh, wrapping all about body.  
23. Part takes on the countenance of a dead plant.
24. Small permanent parasites composed of own flesh now inhabit part.
25. The flesh of part turns inside out, bizarrely still operating as normal.  
26. Foul jelly infects and connects part.
27. A goopious outer layer of slime permanently coats part.
28. A useless copy of part flops into existence.
29. Scales and segmented lizard skin thickens around part.
30. Bulging, bulbous flabular fat grows around part.
31. Broken and gaudy faux jewels erupt from irritated gold flaking skin.
32. Clusters of metal circles and cogs grind flesh across part.
33. Bulging brain like flesh coral.
34. Shimmering puddles of prismatic oil, ever dripping from part.
35. Visible cage of some foul energy powering augmentation.
36. Clear surfaces grant vision of the internals of part and body.
37. Dangling external clusters of organs.
38. Huge blisters and boils of blood.
39. Part becomes shiny, reflective and mirroresque.
40. Part, or entire body, becomes encased in overly large augmentation.
41. Globular hives of eyes, fins and ever dampness.
42. Infestation of pale and translucent flesh, alien to regular form.
43. Burnt, charred or charcoal mineraled flesh, often arranged in geometric contortions.
44. A fetid stream of fouling effluvia pours from part, flesh pipe exhaust.  
45. Loss of part, now just a sullen hole - something often now lives there.  
46. Replaces or removes key and important features of body.
47. Heavy plates of cumbersome and grinding  metal.
48. Menacing and dehumanising bars and rods at warped angles.
49. Burning eruption of hissing steam, often foul coloured.  
50. Flesh replaced completely with clunking gears and locks.
51. Rustling bushel growths of of leaf shaped flesh.
52. Part now too large, dragging along the ground.
53. Great stone growths calcify on bone and erupt from the skin.
54. Fur, teeth and tails grow along part, spreading across body.
55. Folds and folds and folds of flesh wrap around part.
56. Fruits of mineral and flesh sprout from part, large and obtrusive.
57. Fractal flesh infection, repeats part over and over again.
58. Dust billows from  hole membraned orifice at part.
59. An almighty stench erupts from part, often a visible miasma.
60. Carapace covering, thick chitin plates, dark yet iridescent.
61. An alarmingly coating of cillia covers part, ever swaying and grasping.    
62. Part jerks and swings about erratically.
63. Enormous pustules ever grow and explode like fireworks.
64. Part is destroyed utterly, then rebuilt poorly.
65. Part is now a hollowed ruin of its former self, empty and gutted.  
66. A stream of disgusting grease or some other waste fluid is pumped from part.
67. Part swings freely on a flesh connected wheel.
68. Bony claws and spikes erupt pus and blood covered from flesh.
69. Clusters of out of control and grasping tentacles.
70. Some shimmering spirit or ghost emerges from the part, haunting the flesh.
71. Patterned flesh, geometric or organic, often bulging.  
72. Wild magical creatures form a parasitic nest in flesh.
73. Blubbery flesh, befinned and encrusted in land barnacles.
74. Eyes, digits and features reduced to singular disgusting appendage.
75. Bones lengthened beyond reasons and utility.
76. Flesh become ribboned, flowing and draperous.
77. Paddings of flesh pillows, squeezing and cushioned.
78. Leathery and bound, now ancient and hardened flesh, often twisting into braids.
79. Ill connections between body segments that never should be connected.
80. A proliferation of obscene nigh sexual appearing organs.
81. Rotting holes left tunneled throughout user’s body.
82. Body part takes on the craggy unsightly appearance of raw stone.
83. Iridescent mandibles, sprouting and chattering rudely.
84. Part is completely calcified or crystallized.
85. Flesh takes on the loamy, rotted and granular countenance of dirt.
86. A miniature portal to some nether realm installed unto part, small things occasionally crawl out.
87. Pitted, oozing flesh craters. Worms of course travel across these.  
88. Part is slowly crumbling away to dust. What is beneath is horrific.
89. Everything simplified down to a single point or digit. Often sharp.
90. Cracked, shattered and broken, barely keeping together.
91. Part contorted into an obscene position of utter pain.
92. Bare bone revealed, flesh ripped away.
93. Part turned to solidified liquid, running, just barely held together.
94. Part converted into some makeshift shrine to some obscene godlet.
95. Sharps, spikes, blades and other deadly decorations.
96. Flesh warped into geometric angles.
97. Sickly, fetid and leprous -  rotted beyond reason.
98. Part turned into some vile bubbling cauldron.
99. Bones have taken on a scintillating and fractal organic pattern, often outside the body.
100. Swapping of the position of body parts. 

Major Malfunction: how the augmentation doesn't work properly. 

1. User can now not be healed.
2. Cannot ever be used to harm others.
3. Only works when it wants to.
4. Makes other parts of the body work the same way.
5. Somehow roboticizes user.
6. Won’t impact anything in the physical world.
7. Looks amazing, but simply doesn’t work.
8. Won’t let user rest until job is complete.
9. Stupefies user.
10. Is initially useless but will slowly improve.
11. Body, mind, or both are emptied out and hollowed.
12. Soul and or consciousness of augmentee is poured into some easily destroyable receptacle.
13. Augmentation is magnetic to like materials.
14. Haunted by a malicious spirit that has the worst of intents.
15. The effects of the augmentation are barely perceptible, little more than useless.
16. Augmentation has implanted some horrific slow killing disease within user.
17. Replicates itself endlessly across user’s body.
18. Compulsively operates without consent of user.
19. Only operates under very specific climatic conditions.
20. Operates far too fast.
21. Only  works when no one else is watching.
22. Effect of augmentation is tiny in comparison to what it should be.
23. As fragile as glass.
24. Does the most basic and boring job possible.
25. Always acts last, is incredibly slow.
26. Is slowly reviving something the user does not want to be alive.
27. Effect last mere moments before falling apart.
28. Is theoretically useful, but is missing some key component.
29. Causes the proliferation of some parasitic life form in and around user.
30. Augmentation is slowly, physically and mentally,  taking over the user.
31. Is so incredibly useful and impressive looking, everyone wants to remove it from the corpse of user.
32. Requires great wealth to be used effectively.
33. Needs constant blood sacrifice to work.
34. Consumes the users internal workings.
35. Anything done with the augmentation is done back in kind to the user.
36. Requires incredible intelligence to actually use.
37. Is a prototype that needs further revisions to work properly.
38. Takes up double the space of most augmentations.
39. Is powered by the blood and health of the user.
40. Cost twice the amount to install, must be paid back or technician will detonate explosives installed next to heart of user.
41. Destroys the effectiveness of other augmentations installed.
42. Destroyed if comes into contact with water.
43. Requires complex operation ritual.
44. Requires the user to behave a certain way at all times.
45. Creates an unwieldy amount of waste.
46. Melts through material with alarming ease.
47. Requires the enslavement of others to be operated.
48. The user is now the slave of another.
49. Imprisons user.
50. Requires a power beyond the scope of normal reality.
51. Too effective, annoying and dangerously so.
52. Will only work in certain environments.
53. Will destroy a specific part of user.
54. Operates in a way which is disgusting and savage.
55. Will eat those impacted and targeted by augmentation.
56. Over calms and stupefies user.
57. Causes the very body of the user to fight itself.
58. Using the augmentation just once will forever change the user.
59. Does the opposite of what is expected.
60. Exact use of augmentation is constantly changing.
61. Burns user, normally through explosions of flame.
62. Often explodes, endangering user.
63. Is incredibly hot in operation, possibly melting user.
64. Could implode in on itself at any moment, very rickety.
65. Is designed to self destruct the user at some inopportune moment.
66. Adds far too many redundant and useless parts.
67. User must never stop moving, or augmentation will kill them.
68. Some outside entity has control of the user.
69. Infects user with apocalyptic thoughts, visions or knowledge.
70. Tells user exactly when they are going to die.
71. Requires incredible strength to actually use.
72. Causes user to make utter fool of themselves.
73. Attracts monsters.
74. Makes user intoxicated, either at all times or when using augmentation.
75. Must break things or will stop working.
76. Operating the augmentation terrifies all those around user.
77. Operation of augmentation is beyond noisy and obvious.
78. Makes the user into something utterly obscene.
79. Allows unreality to slowly penetrate and infect user’s life.
80. Unintentionally seduces those around user.
81. The augmentation is borrowing deeper and deeper into the user’s slowly wrecked body.
82. Attracts things from the deep below.
83. Some vile secret has been hidden into an otherwise operational decoy augmentation.
84. Something is growing from the augmentation, something foul and disturbing.
85. Always makes the user do the wrong thing.
86. Causes some obscene and dangerous hunger to grow in the user.
87. Augmentation is really, really old, some salvaged antique.
88. Requires a certain amount of time between uses.
89. Slowly and dangerously increases mass of user.
90. Implants a vile and insidious voice into the mind of user.
91. Is an utter affront to a large religious sect.
92. Causes others to hate the user.
93. Implants some self destructive madness into user.
94. Utterly tortures user, constantly.
95. Always causes pain to those around it.
96. Unintentionally steals or destroys things around it.
97. Parts for augmentation were stolen from something that wants them back.
98. Endangers those nearby.
99. Augmentation is broken, often providing the opposite of the desired action.
100. Chance of death on use
101.