Shopping in Infinigrad, Part 1: d100 What's weird about the store?

My players complained recently that there was no normal shops in The City, that they all sell eyes or lizards or just have people in the building that want to kill them. The next series of tables hope to address that issue (although I much prefer every building just being a dungeon but whatever).

By the way, if you are interested in more merchant stuff, check out my PWYW weird merchant generator, The Transient Bazaar: https://lizardmandiaries.blogspot.com/2016/07/the-transient-bazaar-merchant-and.html

Bonus: K Yani of https://noisesanssignal.blogspot.com/ has kindly provided d20 weird shopping bags to accompany this post. They are after the d100 table, accompanied by some notes by K Yani.

d100 What's weird about the store? 

1. Store basically giving away stock for free.
2. Will give special low prices to those in dire need.
3. Doesn’t much care to sell any of their stock, but prices are very fair.
4. Store is a supply point for a larger organisation, merchant will begrudgingly sell stock but is mostly there to supply said organisation.
5. Only sells exact replicas of the single item.
6. Merchant is more concerned with studying their stock than selling it.
7. Merchant knows exactly what every customer needs (literally).
8. Quality is far too good for the low price the stock is offered at.
9. Stock has been produced by a master. Supreme quality.
10. Merchant ensures all customers are completely happy and satisfied.
11. Barely any stock, shelves nigh empty.
12. All stock is kept in elaborate storage devices, for security, freshness or safety.
13. Stock is all poor quality replicas of a well known item.
14. Merchant will always want to barter with items rather than trade with gold.
15. All items in the store are in someway cursed and or haunted.
16. Merchant is bizarrely and caustically rude to customers.
17. Merchant takes in depth notes on every customer that enters their store.
18. Half the store is devoted to the workshop creation of the goods sold.
19. Store is an absolute mess, stock everywhere in piles the merchant and customers must clamber over.
20. Store is automated, perhaps by magic or contraptions or simple signs.
21. Merchant hides from customers, whispering from hidden locations around the store.
22. All stock is far too small.
23. Merchant’s pricing is very honest, and they are completely open about any shortcomings of the product.
24. Merchant is ill, possibly from handling product.
25. Stock is mostly hidden and won’t be revealed until purchased and paid for.
26. Most stock purchased will fall apart in the next few days.
27. Stock is so filthy that things are growing on it.
28. All stock is clearly broken, destroyed and inoperable.
29. Stock is all antiques.
30. Stock is all grown, either naturally or in vats, and is possibly alive in some way
31. Stock is gilded and decorated beyond reason and taste.
32. Merchant is clearly very successful and wealthy, store is thriving.
33. Stock is books ABOUT the item sold rather than the item itself.
34. Stock is always “on order” but will probably never arrive.
35. Merchant really wants a shipment of a different item than they normally stock and is willing to pay a lot for it.
36. Merchant openly houses a sacrificial altar in their store, often stopping sales pitches to slaughter something there.
37. Merchant is incredibly knowledgeable in their field.
38. Customers must always purchase at least two things, lest some curse befell the store.
39. The store is operated by twin merchants, who use their twinning often to trick customers.
40. Store is ancient and abandoned.
41. Merchant has a violent vendetta against a competing merchant - will try to hire customers to kill them.  
42. All stock is second hand.
43. Customers must pass some arbitrary test set by the merchant to purchase their stock.
44. Stock is clearly salvaged, hobbled together from several broken items of the same sort.
45. Store has been recently flooded, not necessarily by water.
46. Store is immaculately clean and tidy.
47. Slaves tend the store, owned by the merchant who may by harsh or kind to them.
48. All stock is locked up with massive padlocks, chains, ropes etc. Excessively so.
49. Some stock, or all, has clearly been burnt or melted.
50. Stock is made of a very delicate material.
51. Stock is utterly bizarre, does not appear to be of this world - the merchant is not much better either.
52. All stock is kept outside in a garden like store, the storefront may only be a small facade.
53. The store, and its stock and merchant is an affront to the local community. Often the target of vandalism and attacks,
54. Merchant has a variety of vicious  beasts prowling the store, either as pets or guards.
55. Merchant only trades his stock for violent favours, and rough, dirty jobs done by customers.
56. Store is a calming sanctuary, temple like.
57. Store is run by two or more merchants who are constantly bickering.
58. The store has a blatant lack of security.
59. Store sells a variety of stock, roll on the d100 stock table d6 times.
60. Stock is weirdly mutated and warped, and risks doing the same to the customer.  
61. Store is overrun with customers and is in total shambles.
62. An enormous bonfire burns in the store - old stock is fed into it.
63. Merchant is a fumbling, bumbling fool. Has no idea where any stock is or how much it costs.
64. All stock is somehow weaponised and menacing.
65. Store is ruined and merchant is dead. Some stock remains to be salvaged.
66. All stock has additional properties or features beyond what is normal for that item. Sometimes these things are useful.
67. A gang operates the store, with menace, criminality and often violence.  
68. Merchant owns a chain of similar stores. Often absent from one store as they operate another.
69. Store is operated from a  moving vehicle, carriage, boat, etc.
70. Store is in the throes of shutting down, cheap prices and a despondent merchant.
71. All stock is either slightly or far too big. Merchant is possibly a giant.
72. All stock has a horrific aspect too it, made of corpse or bone, or sculpted in such a way as to be monstrous.
73. Merchant is a monster, either literally or just incredibly savage in their business pursuits.
74. Store seems/is much, much larger on the inside than it appears outside.
75. Store has a queue emerging from door.
76. Merchant is very keen to hire help and hands in the running of their business.
77. The way in which the merchant has stored and shelved their stock is blatantly dangerous.
78. The merchant is engaged in some sort of conflict with their stock.
79. The merchant has employed a team of seductive beings to ensure sales are made.
80. Store is actually an entrance to a dungeon, the real store is also in that dungeon.
81. Store is clearly a sham business, a cover up for a larger, nefarious operation.
82. Merchant, stock and store are being/have been mutated from a nearby portal leaking lower planes energy.
83. Stock is very well made and long lasting, amazingly so.
84. Stock is dredged from a dungeon beneath the store. Merchant is always looking for people to pull more items up.
85. Merchant truly is masterfully knowledgeable on stock sold.
86. Merchant requires far too many details from customers, which they record in weighty tomes, before a trade occurs.
87. Everything in the store is covered in dust, the merchant is beyond ancient.
88. Merchant is opulent and corpulent beyond measure, bejeweled and carried around the store by slaves. 
89. A pit in the center of the store houses some beast or monster that allegedly protects the stock.
90. Merchant has absolutely no idea about how any of their stock works, or what it is used for, etc.
91. Merchant can’t bear to see any of their stock sold, seems to cause them pain to sell a single item.
92. Each piece of stock sold in the store, somehow, hurts another, external party - possibly through a curse.
93. One or several shrines and miniature temples are set up around the store, lending it a sacred air.
94. Merchant absolutely hates their job, and the stock they are selling.
95. Merchant requires blood in exchange for their stock.
96. All stock is clearly stolen, merchant is incredibly dodgy.
97. Store is very dark and shadowy, it is very hard to make out what is actually being sold.
98. The merchant has recently been killed/is currently being killed.
99. The merchant is diseased, and their store is a warren of filth, decay and infection.
100. Merchant has recently accidentally sold something of extreme value at a minuscule price and desperately wants it back

d20 Weird Shopping Bags. 

By K Yani of https://noisesanssignal.blogspot.com/

"If there is an unusual shopping, should there be also unusual shopping bags?

Here is 20 I could think about. 'some time' usually means time enough to carry items from a shop to some destination.

Shopping bags are a bit like Schrödinger's cats and become strange if left unobserved."

1. If anything in numbers more than two is put into it, after some time it becomes one less.
2. It is more cumbersome and heavy than it looks like. Treat like a (heavy) club if full.
3. Anything new put into it becomes slightly decayed or damaged.
4. It is less spacious than it looks like. However you try, the last item never fits in.
5. Handles have active malice to them, will cut the skin and drink your blood.
6. The logo on a bag is of place that actually never existed.
7. Everything inside becomes subtly, unharmfully branded with tiny strange sigil.
8. The padding of the bag is soft and feels spongy. You can hide and retrieve an extra small item in it as long as nobody is looking how it happens.
9. The logo in the bag is of long-vanished company, but the bag itself is very obviously new.
10. The bag is more spacious than it looks like, but, by pure coincidences, is more prone to be lost or stolen.
11. The fabric, leather or plastic of the bag is always slightly warm on touch.
12. The insides of the bag are woven into flexible, slightly unclear mirror. Blurry reflections have somewhat mesmerizing quality to them. 
13. The bag becomes heavier the longer you carry it, resets to normal weight the second after you put it on a ground.
14. Small items (lipstick, keys, magical ingredients) often vanish from it. Sometimes the same type of item found, but different (wrong colour, wrong shape, wrong kind of bat guano and sulfur, etc.)
15. Squirrels and skunks are attracted to it in unhealthy degree.
16. All power sources (batteries, wands) discharge faster. Usually at least one battery becomes inert after some time.
17. When carried, a slight bird chipping is heard from inside. If left unattended, birds will try to nest in it as much as they could. 
18. Minor worthless items (a spare mitten, a broken censor) tend to appear in it.
19. All items are better preserved in it, except apples which always rot too fast.
20. Bag slightly changes colours and shape with seasons, becoming heavier and plumper with autumn, more monochrome with winter, misshapen and colourful at summer.